Lies Moms Believe: Lie #5

Lies Moms Believe: Lie #5

lie #5: my success as a mom is directly tied to how my children turn out

By Rebekah Hargraves


READ: Romans 8:1, Romans 7:14-25, Psalm 103:12, Revelation 12:10

There have been days when I have been so racked with guilt for yelling at my kids, failing to play with them or letting them watch a bit too much tv (yet again!) that I have felt completely unable to move on. Perhaps you can relate?

For many of us, from the moment we first become mamas, we yearn to be perfect for our children. We don’t ever want to let them down, raise our voices at them, or fail to live up to the picture we have in our minds of what a “perfect mom” looks like. Inevitably, however, the day comes when our sin natures make an appearance and we realize just how far less than perfect we truly are. Cue the guilt and shame!

Perhaps, though, we mamas have gotten it all wrong. All along we were thinking that being perfect was the answer, when in reality, maybe it is in our moments of imperfection that the gloriously good news of the gospel (and our need for it!) is able to shine forth most clearly. Perhaps God never expected us to be perfect for our kids, but instead simply asked us to point our children to the Perfect Savior. 

Perhaps we have also been sold a bunch of lies by our enemy, who is our accuser (Revelation 12:10) daily throwing in our faces all the ways in which we have fallen short of our ideal vision of motherhood. Maybe the guilt that we feel day in and day outcomes not from the Lord, Who has separated our sin from us (see Psalm 103:12), but from the enemy. Likewise, maybe the foregone conclusion that mommy guilt is just something we all have to deal with doesn’t actually have to be the case any longer!

Dear friend, it turns out that we can throw out all the “maybes” and “perhaps” in each of the preceding sentences because guess what? Paul confirms for us, in the beautiful passage of Romans 8:1, that “therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus”. What is so powerful about this passage, however, is its context! Right before Paul makes this proclamation in Romans 8, he has just finished lamenting, at the end of Romans 7, the reality of what a sinful man he really is. He regularly does things he knows he shouldn’t, while he doesn’t do those things he knows he should (sound familiar?). And yet, it is in the midst of that very lament, that he nevertheless is able to say there is no longer any condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Sweet mama, meditate on that blessed truth today and let the mommy guilt go. The Lord doesn’t want you to carry it any longer!

Scripture to Meditate: 

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” ~Romans 8:1

Reflection Questions:

  1. How does holding onto mommy guilt show that we are forgetting the implications of the gospel?

  2. How can you take your daily moments of sin and imperfection and turn them into a gospel-teaching  moment with your children?

  3. Christ came so that we could walk in freedom (see Galatians 5:1). How does holding onto mommy guilt keep you from being able to walk in that freedom?

Lord God, thank You so much for the glorious good news that I truly can be free from mommy guilt. Thank You for the gospel, the truth that, in You, I am clean, made new, righteous, and never ever condemned. Help me to walk in light of that truth and use even my moments of sin to proclaim to my children the freedom and forgiveness I have in You. Help my children to love You more as a result of seeing their mama walk in freedom. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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