Lies Moms Believe: Lie #7

Lies Moms Believe: Lie #7

lie #7: “good” moms do xyz…

By Rebekah Hargraves

Allison 2019-6.jpg

READ: James 1:5, Joshua 1:7

If there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s the mommy wars. Everywhere you turn, there is a new study releasing saying there is only this one right way to feed or sleep train or care for your baby or a new “expert” writes a book outlining why you “must” educate or discipline in this one particular way. The real kicker is that each new study disagrees with the one before it and “expert” disagrees with fellow “expert”. The result is that you have one camp of mamas on this side of any given issue and another group of opposing mamas on the other side, each believing the other to be the enemy while they believe themselves to be making the “perfect” choices in their mothering.

Dear friend, it is time to get off the mommy wars train. It’s time to stop believing that “good” moms…. (fill in the blank with the common stance of the day - sleep train, don’t sleep train, vaccinate, don’t vaccinate, homeschool, don’t homeschool,  etc.). It’s time to stop looking to self-proclaimed experts and start looking to God (see James 1:5), the Creator of ourselves and our children - the One Who is the Source of ultimate wisdom and knowledge and Who knows our children and their needs far better than any expert ever could. It’s time to stop veering off to this side or that side, and instead simply start looking to what the Word of God itself says (see Joshua 1:7). It’s time to understand that, as I wrote in Lies Moms Believe

“Good moms:

  • are about the business of imitating Christ, not the women on social media.

  • are about the business of seeking the wisdom of God and trusting His leadership, more than the “perfect” parenting method or man-made formula.

  • are about the business of training their children in the ways of God, not sticking their noses in the affairs of other moms.

  • are about the business of studying theology more than they are studying all the “right” ways of feeding, dressing, or teaching their kids (as important as those things may be).

  • are about the business of seeking answers from God more than they are answers from others.”

If you are about the business of seeking the Lord’s wisdom and direction for your mothering decisions, then you are a good mom! And it doesn’t matter if some mommy blogger, expert, Facebook group, or parenting study tries to say otherwise! You can rest, knowing that in God’s eyes, you are doing a truly great job!

Scripture to Meditate: 

Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly—and it will be given to him.” ~James 1:5


Reflection Questions:

  1. How have the mommy wars adversely impacted the way you mother?

  2. How does realizing that you need only seek the wisdom and direction of God free you in your mothering journey from all the differing cultural expectations out there?

3. How does realizing that simply by following after the Lord, you are already a good mom, encourage your heart today? How can you share this encouraging truth with a fellow mom friend?

Lord, I thank You that You have not left me to my own devices to try to come up with which study I should follow or which “expert” I should listen to. Thank You for the relief which comes with knowing that, if I am following Your wisdom and direction, I am already a good mom right here and right now, no matter what anyone else says. Thank You for the comforting realization that no matter what question arises in my mothering journey, I can rest knowing that You will provide me with the guidance I need. I love You, Lord! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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