Moms with Cancer: Day One
you are a thriver
By Niki Hardy
The turquoise ocean came into view framed by the swaying palm trees, powered gold sand and a sky you could disappear into. I should have bounced down the beach with the freedom of a teenager released from her final exam but instead I stood there, tears threatening to ruin the moment. I’m not a crier and they take me by surprise. Why was I crying? This I was a celebratory trip for our 25th wedding anniversary and we’d left our cares behind on the tarmac in charlotte. Why the tears?
Once again, I was merely surviving when everything in me wanted to thrive. Have you ever felt like that? As if there’s something deeper waiting to be experienced but getting dinner on the table, the washing machine mended, your son’s teacher to hear your concerns about his possible bullying, and the doctor to call you back with the blood tests results that are keeping you up at night, all crowd out any possible hope of finding more life in the life you’re simply trying to hold together right now.
“I have come that you might have life, and life to the full” that’s what Jesus tells us in John 10:10 but so often the abundance and fullness he’s talking about seems not just elusive but a down right joke. Really Jesus, abundant? Are you kidding me?
Maybe life doesn’t have to be pain free to be full and Jesus’s abundant life doesn’t look like the glossy, happy skippy, healthy, wealthy, feeds we scroll through absent mindedly and longingly in the checkout line, but instead, what if the life in all its fullness we have in him is actually small uncut rubies buried in the rubble of our here and now.
Are you willing to shift your gaze from its constant search for calmer waters ahead and look around you, even down at your feet amongst the pain, mess and overwhelm, for the rubies buried there?
You don’t need to have all the answers, have it figured out, or even the energy to move forward. We simply need to be willing. Willingness is hope, trust and faith all bundled into a tentative yes. A yes that says “I am a thriver. I believe life doesn’t have to be pain free to be full and with God’s help I’m jolly well going to grab it.”
In what area(s) of your life do you feel like you’re merely surviving?
Take a moment to look around at every part of your life and see where, despite everything, it is full, even if it’s not pain free.