Moms with Cancer: Day Seven
embrace the journey
By Niki Hardy
With the attention span of a peanut I’m horrible at waiting. And I mean terrible. I’m so impatient. Whether I’m waiting nervously for scan results, sitting impatient and frustrated as my plane boards with the speed of snail race, or simply staring at the kettle hoping it will hurry up and boil so I can make my afternoon tea, I tap my feet, itching for the boring or painful to get on and out of the way so I can live my life.
Waiting is hard and never more so than when life is hard. Waiting for the doctor to call with the results of your biopsy….Often where we are is the last place we want to be. We’d rather be somewhere else, feeling something different thanks all the same.
And for some of us the waiting never ends. There’s no end to our depression, our chronic pain, or loss. This is a new normal. It’s not we chose or imagined but it’s here to stay.
Al always says “it is what it is” when I moan about something I wish I could change but can’t. To be honest it frustrates the living day lights out of me but it’s true (which is probably why it drives me bonkers!). In that one short phrase he’s saying “you are here, this situation is true and unchangeable, you can choose what you do from here.”
A lesson I’m learning to make my own is to embrace the journey of my reality. To walk firmly in each moment, each emotion – however wonderful or painful - that bubbles up, and own it. Own the moment and embrace the journey - whether it’s simply the tick of the clock as the kettle boils, the prickle of tears as a wave of grief surprises me as I unload the dishwasher, or the reality that I am now a cancer survivor.
Can you imagine meeting Jesus face to face and Him greeting us with a wide open grin saying “So, how was the abundant life I died to give you? Was it full to overflowing like I so wanted it to be? Did you thrive and live life to the full despite all you went through”
And all we say in response is “Well, it was tough down there, and I coped. I survived.”
Will you join me today and in the days ahead, whatever they bring and embrace the good, bad, and ugly of your journey, knowing the only way out is through and there’s life and healing to be found along the way?
Look around you right this moment and notice what you see, how you feel physically - the soles of your feet on the pavement as you walk the dog or your back against the upholstery of the chair as sit and listen, are you warm, a bit chilly and what can you hear.
Notice your emotions, not labelling them as good or bad, simply notice them. Are there some that took you by surprise? Are the old familiar ones still around?
How could you begin to process your journey today? Call a friend you trust and invite them for coffee and a chat, make that appointment with a therapist you’ve been meaning to talk to, journal your thoughts and write a prayer to God.
Where we are is often the last place we want to be but it is what it is and it’s where God is with us. Let’s lean and embrace our journey with him. We might not have been this way before, but he has.