Hope for Adoptive Moms: Day Three
i didn’t want to be a special needs mom
By Sarah Frazer
READ: Matthew 6:19-21
I'm not a special needs mom. Or I didn't think I was until therapy became our norm. Until I began to notice the quick glances at the grocery store. Eyes darting away in embarrassment as they catch sight of my girl. She is considered different by our world's standards. And sometimes different means not good enough.
When I realized she will not reach the milestones at the appropriate ages, I finally had to admit I was a mom to a special needs daughter. And a little part of me didn't like that label.....
When I began my journey of special-needs parenting, I was scared. Guilt and loneliness settled in my heart. I had so many questions, mostly about myself. Would I be enough? Could I really do this? I didn't want to be a special needs mom. I didn't think I wanted to walk this road. I felt pushed into the deep end of a swimming pool without a floaty. I had no idea what to do!
One thing I’ve learned over the past four years of parenting a child with special needs is that there is beauty found in the unspoken place of the heart. There is a worthiness found in the ordinary. The small milestones are celebrated with joyful enthusiasm. Laughter becomes contagious. There is a joy so full and so rich I could never have it otherwise. And her worth to us goes beyond her ability.
If my daughter's ability to walk determines her worth, she is sadly lacking.
If my daughter's ability to talk is what gives her life merit, she is incomplete.
If my daughter's outward abilities are a reflection of her worth, she is not enough.
If value is placed on her ability to feel and give love, she measures up.
If worthiness is based on her soul, she is eternally cherished.
Even if she never walks properly or speaks a word....she is completely and 100% worthy in the eyes of God.
Every child, even those with disabilities, will live forever. And they matter. They are treasures that do not rust or fade away. My daughter matters. And she gives me hope, as a special-needs mom. Hope in the eternal. Hope in a God who looks at the heart.
The invisible things truly are more valuable than the visible. I matter, too. My worth is not based on a character flaw or physical limitation I might see in the mirror. My worth is not even based on what I own or the failures or accomplishments of my life.
Even though I didn't want to be a special needs mom......and I still find it hard....I give praise to my Father everyday for giving me this child. I get to witness something I would have never witnessed otherwise: we all matter to God.We are all valuable. Every soul. We are valuable because we are precious to the Father. The Son. And the Spirit. Precious. Wanted. Worthy because of our Creator.
1. Even though parenting is sometimes hard, what have your children taught you about God?
2. How does the world measure our worth?
3. How does God measure our worth?
Dear Father, I thank you so much that my worth is not based on my performance but on Your love for me. Let me look at my children as blessings from you - and give me wisdom as I parent them. Amen.