Hope for Adoptive Moms: Day Two
when change is hard
By Sarah Frazer
READ: Psalm 46
My son was crying again. We had discussed the move, and he just couldn’t handle it. He left the table and went to the living room. He just sat on the couch with the silent tears rolling down his cheeks. My sweet, sensitive boy who likes to play sports and wrestle on the floor was hurting. It was evident he hated the idea of moving because whenever we talked about moving, he would clam up, get mad, and run to hide.
My sweet little seven-year-old who cries, says there are three reasons why he doesn’t want to move:
1. No trampoline.
2. No friends.
3. No snow.
So there you have it. He is counting the cost (maybe more than I have), but he is teaching me - no matter what, God will supply. How do I know this? Because we have, as an adoptive family, dealt with the change adoption brings to our house.
Moving to Honduras is one thing. Learning a new way to parent; accepting a child with trauma, loss, and physical needs into our family is a whole different thing. There are things we learned about change I’m using now in my life.
God gave me those words to hang on to the other day at a coffee shop. He has called me into a season of savoring. It seems counterintuitive because the next year our family is undergoing a huge change. The thought occurred to me one day: how can I savor change?
Change means movement. Savoring is a stillness. How is that the same? And how can we continue to parent our children who come from hard places with a peace - all the while enjoying the change? Sometimes change is BAD. But sometimes it is good.
I’m convinced God calls us to change in order to learn how to “be still.” I’m still reflecting and living out this idea of savoring change, but I can tell you, it means living fully in the present.
Psalm 46 is a great reminder of this promise:
Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has made desolations in the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariot in the fire.
Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth! Psalm 46:8-11
Come. Look at all the Lord does. He ends the battles. He fights for us. He moves forward in peace. Come. Be still before the Lord. He is close. His presence is our calming place. He moves our hearts to feel peace.
“God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
A present and a “right now” help is what I need. Do you? Move forward friend. Whether God has called you to sit and rest, or get up and change: we can still savor the moments - even if they are changing.
1. What kind of changes has adoption brought to your family: good or bad?
2. How can you enjoy the moments and not worry about the future?
3. How is God’s presence a comfort when we face challenging changes in our life?
God, I know you see the future and all of the ways life is going to change for us. I don’t like change; but let me remember You never change and you will always be right now and close with Your presence. Amen.