A Letter From Lindsey

Dear friend and fellow mama,

I'm so honored to be writing a letter to you, and I'm just giddy about the work that God is doing through the Thrive Moms site and specifically through you, dear friend.  I know God has big plans for your life and daily work of mothering.  I'm praying that this letter serves to bolster you up and give you courage.

First let me say that I do NOT have it all figured out.  Yesterday I was in tears talking with my husband about the overwhelming, non-stop job of being a mother to our two little kids.  I'm their cook, doctor, diaper-changer, bath-giver, chauffeur, personal stylist, pastor, teacher....and it is a heavy load at times.  And while my husband is my biggest fan and supporter, it isn't a weight he can carry.

You see, I believe deeply that this a load is meant to be shared with other women.  For centuries, families lived in close proximity, and community was built-in and unavoidable.  After a woman had her first child, her mother, grandmother, aunts, and cousins, would all come to her home and pass down a legacy of mothering well.  They would share tried-and-true tricks as they brought over food.  As they held the baby, they would comfort the mother with the gentle words, "This is normal.  This will pass.  Yes, it was just like this for me too."

But in recent decades, with the rapid growth of technology and the ease of travel, children outgrow their family nest, spread their wings, and fly away.  A new mother may find herself relatively isolated from her heritage and lacking support from an older generation.  As each day brings new questions and parenting conundrums, she is often left to her own resources (a.k.a. the Internet) to find answers.

And it brings up our biggest fear - that we are the only one making mistakes.
And it brings up our biggest desire - for deep, true friendships.

Women crave community.  God wrote it in our DNA.  I just spent the last several months researching and writing an eBook about introversion.  In the process, I discovered that introverts crave deep, meaningful conversations with close friends, while extroverts gain energy from meeting new people.  Regardless of your personality type, we each fear being lonely and deep down we want someone to say, "Me too!"

It seems a daunting task to find a community of women that values vulnerability, safety, and gentleness. One of the reasons I love Thrive is because we're building a safe space online to ask questions, pray together, and share stories.  I love The Influence Network, because we can resource you to grow in your God-given influence right where you are, even if that means the carpool line.

Before I became a mom, I remember thinking it seemed like moms had some secret club.  Moms were the women who said their kids' ages in months - not years, and gave knowing glances about topics like diaper blowouts, breastfeeding, and potty training.

Let's be the kind of club that speaks life to the new mama and to each other.
Let's never talk behind another mama's back.
Let's share our vulnerable moments and triumphs.
Let's not pretend we have all the answers.
Let's be humble enough to ask our mothers and grandmothers for their advice.
Let's carry the collective weight of motherhood and hey, let's not keep it a secret.

What if we could be a light in a dark world by showing the hope God has given us as mothers? What if that new mama searching the Internet for answers found us instead?  I can't think of a more attractive community.  Join me, dear friend?

Lindsey Kubly is a mother of two, married to her high school sweetheart, Zach. As an introvert, she is continually learning the influence of her quieter voice. While writing her new eBook, I Like People Too: A Field Guide for Introverts, she drew upon her degree in biology, her lifelong love of reading and storytelling, and her passion for encouraging others. Find her stories of marriage, motherhood, and introversion on her blog, The Kubly Girl.

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