Resolutions. Do you make them? Do you break them? Do you stress about all of the tiny and huge ways your life is going to be totally different, totally great, totally something starting now only to be disappointed weeks, days, or minutes later when things aren't quite measuring up to the new standard you set up?
Yeah, um...me neither.
Okay, the truth is, I'm actually big into resolutions. I love reflecting on the past and looking forward to the future. I love dreaming big dreams and planning practical plans. I'm a thinker and a doer. And I'm a super fan of the idea of a new year as a fresh start to make all those dreams and plans happen.
But it's also a lot of pressure. And a whole lot of reliance on me.
Resolutions involve digging in, bearing down, and muscling through things. It's about doing more of this, doing better at that, giving up this, being less of that...Resolutions are a way for me, to better me.
And while I certainly have things I need to work on (so very many), as I started to think about my resolutions for this year, I felt God nudging me in a different direction. Rather than the guilt of "I shoulds" and "I won'ts" that come with resolutions, I began to feel the possibility of freedom and blessings that come with the other words He's urging me to consider -- much more meaningful and powerful "re's" for my life:
As God continues to work on my heart, I realize that He isn't calling me to a life full of self-imposed resolutions. He's offering me a life full of His gifts; gifts He desperately wants me to receive. Imagine if I swapped all of the effort that I normally put into making, and doing, and striving, for a focus on what God has to show me. How much joy and rest would be found in taking a break from my plan, and basking in His providence?
So, this year, I can still try to record more videos, get more sleep, remember my multivitamin, and have patience with my kids at bedtime...But my main focus will be to remember that God isn't impressed with all my lofty goals, just as He isn't disappointed with my failures. He is my father, who loves me as I am, as I was, and as I will be. Absolutely, and resolutely.