touch

Sometimes I just don’t want anyone to touch me.

Do you ever feel that way?

Like you are just touched out, and if one more person comes and hangs their body weight off of you, you might completely lose it and toss them across the room?

I feel like that.

And I have horrible guilt about it.

I was scrolling through Instagram the other day and I went past several pictures of mamas with little ones on their chests and all their status’ said things like…. “I should be cooking dinner, but this is so good I’ll stay here instead” and “best part of my day is when baby naps on my chest” and “poor sick little guy, but these snuggles are the greatest ever in my entire life and I don’t ever want to forget how this feels because all to soon he will be grown and gone and I will be longing to feel his weight on me again…”

And I think “yes, but…”

I have 4 kids and they all need me, in different ways now, but they all definitely need me.  Sometimes the toddler on my chest is just sucking every single ounce of energy and love that I have to give and it doesn’t seem very fair to my other kids.  I happen to have a VERY difficult toddler who truly insists on being held AT ALL TIMES.

What I mean by insists, is that when he is not on my hip he is in fact following me around the house crying and pulling my pants off, sitting on my feet, and generally trying to climb up me like a rabid raccoon {unless of course I have handed him my phone to play on or turned on his favorite tv show because I am that awesome of a mom}.  I should also mention that my toddler is the same size as my 4 year old.

 

I KNOW that one day I will be sad my babies are all grown.

I also KNOW that there will be relief too.

There is a distinct difference between the touches that give and the touches that take, right now a majority of the touching going on at my house takes.  This is the season that we are in, one that we will pass through, and not one I am so sure I will mourn. 

I love that there are mama’s out there soaking up every single second of baby snuggles, I think that it is great, I love that I am occasionally among them.  I just also want you to know that if you are struggling and suffocating under the weight of a LOT of touches you are not alone. 

If you are left at the end of the day feeling guilty because you didn’t “soak up” every moment of toddler hanging off of you, or you feel badly that you neglected the rest of your children because of said toddler, or you actually punched your husband when he approached you for some adult touch time at the end of a day because said children had taken every single ounce of grace and love you were capable of.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE my sisters, I am in this is season with you, and we will all survive.  Thank you sweet Jesus for giving us the grace to survive this season of life, when we are constantly poured out you are the one we can look to who will fill us back up.  Each day is new and so are your mercies and grace.

And all the mamas with a baby on their hip said AMEN.

Amber is the founder of Reveal Ministry and Beautiful & Beloved Boutique give her a visit on Instagram/ Twitter/ Facebook/ Boutique

... even God has a clique

... even God has a clique

He Parents Me as I Parent Them

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