Did you have a Happy Mother's Day?
Did you have a hard Mother's Day?
Did you have a mish-mash of feelings, all the highs and lows, so much pressure, so many blessings, how am I so blessed, and yet why am I crying Mother's Day?
I'm deep in the little kid stage of motherhood...With a three year old and an-almost-two year old (also known as need-to-do-almost-everything-myself year old, or almost-all-mom's-suggestions-are-awful year old, or almost-never-out-of-energy-until-the-overtired-tantrum-happens year old...), the intensity of child-rearing around here is at a high. There is always someone who needs to be dressed (or redressed), wiped, calmed down, buckled up, or reasoned with (ha!). It's a glorious stage (they all are, right?) but it's also a stage that requires much- physically, especially. So there are moments (hours...days...) where a little vacation sounds pretty good. You know, like a quick sail around the world with my husband, arriving back just in time to see the girls off to third grade.
I kid..I kid..Kinda.
I don't have to tell you that I love my kids. You know that, because you love your kids. Even if sometimes you might want to sell them (or maybe just trade for a donut and a glass of wine? I'm flexible...) You get it.
But as I find myself stuck in between the "soak this up, this phase is but a blink in a lifetime" motherhood mantras, and the "call me when you know how to put your shoes on and no longer cry over getting the wrong color fishy towel" goals, I'm trying my best to truly enjoy this wild and crazy phase I'm in. Because it's not hard to find reasons it's exhausting, but those reasons are quick to eclipse the little (but plentiful) reasons it's so so sweet.
I'm watching, and listening, and pausing as much as possible right now- taking mental snapshots and videos of the awesomeness that is toddler-hood. Well, I'm trying to do that anyway. Because try is the primary verb of motherhood, and sometimes it's the closest I can get to do.
So when I wake up (am woken up) entirely too early, I can dwell on how very near dead-tired I am, or I can lay for a minute and enjoy the sounds of jammie-clad feet thump-thump-thumping down the hallway, on a mission to collect "friends" to join us for breakfast.
When I'm facing a meltdown (theirs, but eventually mine), I can sigh and roll my eyes and demand they follow instructions, or I can remember their magic little brains work so differently than mine, and use it as a chance to imagine just a bit. Maybe to ease the pain of leaving our toys at night we could pretend to be bears going up the stairs- err...mountain- to our cave, or perhaps taking a bath would be more fun if we were all mermaids practicing our deep sea singing...
And when the day is just too long, and too rough to be redeemed, I can wallow in the drama and the hopelessness of the mess we've gotten ourselves into (and can't see out of) or I can sneak in their rooms after they're asleep, listen to the sweet puppy-snores and remember how much I love every bit of their sweaty, chubby, messy, beautiful little bodies. Especially when they're quiet. ;)