I was talking on the phone with a friend awhile back, and she said something to me that has been roaming in my thoughts ever since.

She said, “I will never forget, when we were in the midst of all the babies and all the toddlers and we were just surviving every day you told me, ‘There will always be chaos. Having the number of children that we do will always create chaos, we just have to choose whether we spend our lives fighting against it or we sit back and enjoy it.’ I think about that every day and I am always so thankful you said it.”

Then there was some silence from my end of the phone because I do not for the life of me remember saying that.

This friend was my life line when we lived in Oklahoma in a small town that consisted of Walmart and McDonalds, and the temperature was 100+ degrees for five months of the year.  I had three babies under the age of three and she had two under the age of three (with a surprise coming), and we survived on coffee and and peanut butter sandwiches. How I ever said anything that coherent is beyond me, and clearly beyond my memory, but it stuck with her and helped get her through some of the hard stuff.

And, it has made me think.

What would it have been like if we hadn’t been willing to go deep with each other? What would have happened if she and I met up for play dates and pretended to be perfect moms who had it all together?

I’m not sure. I know for certain we wouldn’t be striving to find time for a phone conversation with each other. I know she probably wouldn’t have heard my take on chaos and carried it with her all these years to encourage her on hard days. I know that those days would have been darker, and harder, and longer for me, and my children would wear the truth of that in their spirits today.

We need each other, mommas. We need each other like we need oxygen. We need to be real with each other, share the chaos and our hard earned wisdom. We need deep friendships and love with fellow moms. My challenge to you sisters is to find a friend to go deep with, show your real and open up...not only for your heart but for the hearts of your babies...and maybe some friend's future sanity.

Amber is the founder of Beautiful & Beloved and Reveal Ministry.  She loves to connect with other mamas as @ambervnewberry on Instagram or Twitter.