Expectations in Motherhood: Day Five
“Expectation - My Mom Tribe Would Magically Appear”
By Nicole Lawrence
READ: Luke 11:5-10, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
I tend to isolate myself when hard times fill my heart, so after having my first daughter I isolated big time. The earth-shattering changes that came with motherhood hit hard. Somewhere around month 4 of being a mom I finally ventured out into different mommy-me activities, not really for her, but in hopes to find my tribe. New acquaintances came and went leaving me feeling even more alone. Finally, I did what all millennial moms do and sought out friends online. My greatest friends came as a result of a “blind-mom-date” from an online invitation to meet at the mall for a stroller walk with our babies.
It took work finding my mom friends.I expected my mom tribe would just magically appear at my doorstep adorned with hot meals, hugs and helping hands, but it took hard work for that to happen. It took me seeking them out. It took me being brave enough to accept their invitation. It took me continuing to reach out to them. It took me showing up in their trials. It took moving heaven and earth to find time for girls nights. It took rearranging schedules to make playdates happen. It took me overcoming my messiness to let them into my life.
We are meant to do life in a community. Our friendships are there to encourage us, to be fun, to teach us how to love, to teach us forgiveness, to push us closer to Christ. Relationships are the cornerstone for love. They are messy because we are messy. But they are also so very worth the messiness.
C.S. Lewis says, “friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’” In order to find my tribe, I had to be willing to be vulnerable. That meant pushing aside my insecurities. It is a simple conversation to say,” this motherhood gig is hard”.
Sometimes that means showing up when it's the very last thing we want to do. It is loving our mom friends at all times. The more we pour into our friendships more we get in return.
If you are reading this and have yet to find your tribe, don’t get discouraged. Just like the passage in Luke, God tells us to be shamelessly bold when we ask Him for friendship. Pray for friends to come into your life and ask the Holy Spirit to be with you as you seek those. Leave timidness aside and do the hard work of finding your mom tribe.
MEDITATE: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.” Proverbs 17:17
Who are your current mom friends, or those close acquaintances that could become friends? Pray over these friendships today.
Sometimes we get in our way of making friends. Are you being the friend that God wants you to be?
What places can you go to seek friends? What ways can you encourage new friendships?
Reach out this week and invite one friend to a playdate, coffee date, mom night out.
PRAY: God, I realize just how much I need friends to walk beside me in motherhood. Thank you for allowing me to find mom friends who love you, point me back to you, and are a source of strength when I feel alone in my mothering. Let me be bold in my friendships. When I’m struggling, place other moms in my path so we can share the sweet gift of friendship. In Your name, Amen.